I admire you grappling out loud with this for us to see. I hope you’re able to let light shine into his stories in a way that brings awareness and healing.
Thanks so much Beth! I hope so too. It was a long road for me to come to acceptance of all of it, as his sister. I'd one day love to be able to share others' stories of having their loved ones in prison too. I'll have to talk to more people in the visitor's room the next time I visit my brother. :)
No, I no longer see or talk to him. I visited once and he made me promise to never come back. He went in the first time for assault & battery with intent to kill. He went back a second time for that same offense after being paroled early. Basically, he broke the conditions of his parole agreement. This third trip is due to his involvement in a murder in Charlotte. He’s also a person-of-interest in another triple homicide. I’ll probably never see him alive again.
That is so heartbreaking and I'm sure was such a hard time for you. I have so many questions but I don't want to be too nosy, but thank you again for sharing. It feels comforting to know that there are other people out there who have gone through similar moments in dealing with a loved one in prison.
Claire, I’m so used to this kind of stuff in my family that it doesn’t bother me all that much anymore. There’s more to that and I’ve written about a lot of it in my memoir. My dad exposed me to a lot of crazy stuff - like taking me to meet his drug dealer when I was twelve - that I’m numb to a lot of this. I’ve since found out that my dad isn’t even my real dad, which was ultimately the reason I began writing down what became my memoir.
And you can ask me anything you’d like. I’ll do my best to answer you as thoughtfully as I can. For what it’s worth, I’ve found your writing to be a very compelling read. I hope your brother makes it through this ordeal. It seems he’s very fortunate to have you in his corner.
No, it’s not published because I can’t put it out there for public consumption just yet. Yeah, I could change all of the names and all of the places, but I don’t really want to. I didn’t even write it all down because I wanted to. The whole thing started because I began telling my closest confidants about what I had learned about my family, good and bad. And that all started because of the revelations from my recent DNA research. Long story short, what I found wasn’t what I expected. But those same confidants strongly encouraged me to write it all down. So I did. That’s what eventually lead me to Substack and so on and so on.
The entire thing is a bit of a stream-of-consciousness type of endeavor. I realize that there are more than a few run-on sentences and whatnot. But I just wrote it the way I tend to tell it.
And I’m honored that you would even consider reading it. You’re under no obligation, however.
Also, I dance around some things that would incriminate people (who are still alive) for crimes with no statute of limitations. I occasionally toy with the notion to add more details, but I’ve always stopped myself.
I’m already on the prologue. It’s so good! I can totally picture it as a podcast. I’m not just saying that either. And if I may echo everyone else’s sentiment - dude this is insane. 😆
So many layers of law, mental illness, doing what’s best, figuring what’s best for who, and it only took months not years? Wow. break a pen 🔏
I admire you grappling out loud with this for us to see. I hope you’re able to let light shine into his stories in a way that brings awareness and healing.
Thanks so much Beth! I hope so too. It was a long road for me to come to acceptance of all of it, as his sister. I'd one day love to be able to share others' stories of having their loved ones in prison too. I'll have to talk to more people in the visitor's room the next time I visit my brother. :)
I also have a younger brother in prison. He’s back for the third time since he was a teenager. He’s 57 now.
I'm sorry to hear that. Do you see or talk to him often? Thank you for sharing.
No, I no longer see or talk to him. I visited once and he made me promise to never come back. He went in the first time for assault & battery with intent to kill. He went back a second time for that same offense after being paroled early. Basically, he broke the conditions of his parole agreement. This third trip is due to his involvement in a murder in Charlotte. He’s also a person-of-interest in another triple homicide. I’ll probably never see him alive again.
That is so heartbreaking and I'm sure was such a hard time for you. I have so many questions but I don't want to be too nosy, but thank you again for sharing. It feels comforting to know that there are other people out there who have gone through similar moments in dealing with a loved one in prison.
Claire, I’m so used to this kind of stuff in my family that it doesn’t bother me all that much anymore. There’s more to that and I’ve written about a lot of it in my memoir. My dad exposed me to a lot of crazy stuff - like taking me to meet his drug dealer when I was twelve - that I’m numb to a lot of this. I’ve since found out that my dad isn’t even my real dad, which was ultimately the reason I began writing down what became my memoir.
And you can ask me anything you’d like. I’ll do my best to answer you as thoughtfully as I can. For what it’s worth, I’ve found your writing to be a very compelling read. I hope your brother makes it through this ordeal. It seems he’s very fortunate to have you in his corner.
Is your memoir published? That’s quite a story. I read some posts you’ve published but should go back from the beginning so I can better understand.
Thanks for your kind words. I hope my brother figures out that he has a lot of growing to do. (Sooner than later.)
https://open.substack.com/pub/josephphillip?r=xi28j&utm_medium=ios
No, it’s not published because I can’t put it out there for public consumption just yet. Yeah, I could change all of the names and all of the places, but I don’t really want to. I didn’t even write it all down because I wanted to. The whole thing started because I began telling my closest confidants about what I had learned about my family, good and bad. And that all started because of the revelations from my recent DNA research. Long story short, what I found wasn’t what I expected. But those same confidants strongly encouraged me to write it all down. So I did. That’s what eventually lead me to Substack and so on and so on.
I can see why people encouraged you to write it down! Thanks for sharing the link, I’m reading it now!
The entire thing is a bit of a stream-of-consciousness type of endeavor. I realize that there are more than a few run-on sentences and whatnot. But I just wrote it the way I tend to tell it.
And I’m honored that you would even consider reading it. You’re under no obligation, however.
Also, I dance around some things that would incriminate people (who are still alive) for crimes with no statute of limitations. I occasionally toy with the notion to add more details, but I’ve always stopped myself.
I’m already on the prologue. It’s so good! I can totally picture it as a podcast. I’m not just saying that either. And if I may echo everyone else’s sentiment - dude this is insane. 😆